Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan’ as
apple pie. The Apple’s true root lay in central Asia. While on my digitized journey attempting to get to the root of my dietary constraints, it turns out, wild apples can be broken, sliced, germinated the world over, and slowly colonized away by formidable ancestral friends and
foes. At this very moment startling things are happening ecologically all over the planet. Currently in the heart of Kazakhstan, known as “The Father of Apples” it’s not just falling far, it is no longer falling from the tree.
“You’re not interested in what happened to the bees?” For some hilarious reason, Marky Mark my word, I laughed so damn hard watching M. Night Shaymalan’s, The Happening, back in 2008. Could it
possibly be as American as a Texas sharpshooter fallacy? Yeah, well that’s me
in a nutshell. But beware of what nut. For I and millions of others
in this country and hundreds of millions more around the world can’t grab a fucking can of
mixed nuts and or also, perhaps cannot consume a variety of fresh fruits, certain
vegetables, and or wheat, dairy, black and white cookies, yadda yadda. Are you tired of accidentally ordering vegan-lacto
gluten-free crust on your pizza? Well, let me introduce you to the latest
dietary anomaly you’ve never heard of. Hi, my name is Julie and I have OAS,
Oral Allergy Syndrome. I’ve had it apparently my whole life and never grew out of it.
Reject, defective, lazy, sensitive, and hypochondriac are all things I was referred to as before I made it to tween hood. It was
the 80s and 90s for fucksake, the playground for which the corporate
pharmaceutical monster rang around a rosie. The Western world was only interested in medicating symptoms, not actually finding causes or cures. I was on endless doses of antibiotics for chronic
ear infections, conjunctivitis, occasional walking pneumonia, chronic diarrhea, swollen lymph
nodes; I also developed an allergy to penicillin, and given steroids for what the doctors would conclude as slight seasonal asthma, all before my tenth birthday. I remember times when I was a kid laying in bed unable to breath and unable to keep still cause it felt like ants were crawling through my veins. Hours I would spend in bathrooms and hours more bowled over clutching my gut. Still, I was
an incredibly happy, active, and bright child all things considered. As
an adult my irritated red eyes would get me unwanted attention. I was accused by some in the workforce as being on drugs, cause if eyes could bleed, by mid-day, I
look high as a kite. In high school and college I had severe migraines and was constantly lethargic. My drug of choice to combat was caffeine. Coffee, mochas, NoDoz, and Excedrin were what I was on those years, exhausting my adrenals to no end. I finally got my very first blood panel test for allergies about six years
ago, my results rendered me speechless, and made sense of my entire childhood of pain and years of hives and cystic nodes on my jaw and back that I luckily refused to take accutane for. Turns out I am allergic to damn near every pollen, apples, peaches, pears, legumes, carrots, celery, peanuts, hazelnuts, soy the
list goes on. My doctor didn’t even know what to say except, “Stay away from those if you can.” But what’s the root? Scouring the interwebs, talking
with dietitians, requesting more tests, I’ve been determined to figure out just
what in the Evil Queen’s revenge had happened to me.
The short and skinny is this; some pollen such as birch, grass, ragweed, cypress, and mugwort are more invasive and aggressive that others. The protein structure of some of these airborne male egg shaped critters looking for a fine young female to pollinate have a very similar erection to the proteins in many fruits, seeds, nuts, and vegetables. So in some folks such as myself, after ingesting food that appears to be allergen, my body decides these arrangements are guilty until proven innocent; alarming my immune system into action it creates Immunolobulin E (IgE) to tag it and sends out mast cells to attack, releasing mind altering and nerve tapping histamines into combat creating massive amounts of white blood cells causing muscle contraction and inflammation throughout the body. So it turns out, when folks
ever thought I was on one, I sure as hell was, I was trippin’ balls on histamine
yo. Similar to dopamine and serotonin, histamine is a neurotransmitter. Severe
shifting levels of histamine can contribute to a long list of emotional,
mental, and physical disorders.
I am currently seeking guidance and care from some amazing natural health specialists and look forward to years of healing. With the latest “pollen vortex” that has, or hasn’t descended upon us, many articles are coming out daily highlighting an overall significant rise in allergy cases in industrialized countries all over the world. M. Night Shyamalan must have allergies, I’ve heard some are allergic to his
films, but I for one happen to be a big fan of his work. In this over exposed, over
processed, post-nuclear, post-antibiotic, pro-endocrine disrupted finite world riding
on a wave of mutilation, bees sure do stop and smell the aftermath of human
progress or how you like them apples?