Fields.

Worries melted
Separation is but a lost cause
Extending divine
From up here, even shadows shine
Moonlit suffrage
Attuned grace, rises as it falls
Fashioned with rings
Clearing plots
Condensed to extract
Recalibrating
Praying for the right
Nothing, but everything left
Waves soaked
Stoked to smudge, back & forth
In gazing one is embraced
Around edges unseen
Sight or flight
Clearly turbid 
Yet remastered, reborn
Intensified, naturally
Note the feeling emanating between
It is but fields, as far as each eye can see 

Engendered.

   I felt compelled to write this post because the idea of sex in biological terms has had me vexed for quite some time. Many triggers of sexism continue to circulate in the media as brought on by the current U.S. presidential election. A handful of years ago I utilized group therapy to help cope with what I was told is a form of complex PTSD as a result of my marriage, divorce, and other dysfunctional relationships that preceded. Currently, in counseling I opened up about the subject of a previous blog post, How to respond to your rapist’s “friend request” on Facebook. Getting to the root of my lifelong battle with worry and fear, it has remained consistent… my sex. 

   Being born a female human was certainly out of my control and how I felt about that seemed to be too. I allowed the world to shape what that particular corresponding gender means and let me tell you those fashions never felt good, joyful or right. The terms I ignorantly let others set for me and my femininity usually ended in me being harassed, sexually assaulted, and/or exploited. A story as old as time because I know I am far from alone.

  Some say words are just words unless you give them power, but I tend to disagree. Words are power, they are energetic, evoked by breath; as could be said for all living things. I have worked hard to clean up my sexist lexicon, but still have a lot of unlearning I continue to look forward to. Being constantly steeped in fear whatever it may be, is an obstacle made of suffering on every level; mental, physical, and spiritual. Being subtly molded by all that before lends to my perspective and thankfully no longer feeds on my mind, body, and spirit. A continual transformal journey of healing. I set my own terms now as I teach the world how to treat me simply by knowing who I am confidently for that is a mighty mutable power that suits me. If any of my words resonate within I implore you to get creative, speak out, empower others, and reach out to somebody who will listen and can help guide you through your own sea of sexist sentiments.  

Impressionable Youth.

Someday, it’s true
You wake up knowing how exactly to be you
Nothing a little gratitude and perspective won’t do
Diagnosis prescribed
Seemingly pickle
Been so long floating underground
Scraps of particulate matter
Gold platted bayonets
Firing squad messenger
Associations don’t hide
Like sacred grounds
Releasing mounds
I need to ask, do you enjoy the sound of wet pavement?
Because those before you
Endure no more 
No less than the point of every fractal
Symbols, icons, words burn even faster
Speaking tongues is healing
From each breath is what we share
Our inertia until it blows
Out enduring generational ties
Impressionable youth ride each tide
Seeking position 
Just right.