The more I observe my conclusions and ask, “Do I really know this to be true?”, the more free I feel to be me. It’s that simple. The answer is hardly ever affirmative, yet very liberating. I feel that needing to know has much to do with control, and when let go, poof, like magic I feel relieved.
My path led me here and for that I am grateful for all experience. Heart break is one force that brought me to you right now. Recently I realized anger still lingered in me, as it had for some time. Shame, betrayal, abandonment; these are all subtle forms of anger. Feeling unworthy of love, worried to feel vulnerable, afraid to let go of the past; these are examples of inward anger. By being aware of my patterns I’ve been able to connect with the love that was always inside. Yes, to be loved by another can be and feel remarkable, but not another can do the loving for you.
There are many shapes of heart ache, just as there are as many of love. Our world, this globe of Earth we call home with its many life forms clinging to it are all undergoing one form or another. Our hearts are big enough to love and break time and time again, it is ultimately what you carry through, be it light or heavy. But, do I really know this to be true? Nope, can’t say that I do.
Cures can only symptomatically alleviate
Instead I desire full frontal healing state
Aligned with one
Powered by this & every sun
Bit by bit
One hundred million
Illuminate each slip
Get a grip
Subatomic in training
Both sinister & light
Balancing membranes by belief just might
Relief in suffering
To cope is like stuttering
Stopping to start
We are but solar farts
Wholes to make
Winds of fate
Why not? Sitting here pondering that question, I can’t think of a single reason not to be poetic. Of course both literally and metaphorically. Sure, literal poetry may not “be your thing” or maybe claim, “I just don’t get it.”
I began with picture stories, jokes, and greeting cards as soon as I learned to write. I enjoyed sharing them most of all. I understood a person’s creative gesture could create connection, but also learned at times feel more like alienation, this is especially true if that creative energy’s motive becomes co-dependent on other’s feelings and reactions as opposed to one’s own inner connection. But enough about my inner child’s first existential crisis.
Writing does something for me that nothing else does, it reminds me of who I am.
Does it occasionally bother me that I get loads of “likes” on facebook if I post a picture of my two cats and not a single click when I post a new poem, of course! But then I am given an opportunity to re-evaluate why I write and publish. I do it for me, but along the way if my strings of choreographed words inspire something for somebody else, well then, that’s why poetry.
“Dude stop enlightening me I just want to eat ice cream and blame ppl!!! Idk Julie this one rings true like if Rumi went to MIT and was reborn a women.” – Jon Lafortune, Behavior Therapist.
Care to lend me your words? I’d love to hear your comment and connect with mine. If you have a moment and care to share with me a quote from you about me please do email me Julieahvoice@gmail.com