Engendered.

   I felt compelled to write this post because the idea of sex in biological terms has had me vexed for quite some time. Many triggers of sexism continue to circulate in the media as brought on by the current U.S. presidential election. A handful of years ago I utilized group therapy to help cope with what I was told is a form of complex PTSD as a result of my marriage, divorce, and other dysfunctional relationships that preceded. Currently, in counseling I opened up about the subject of a previous blog post, How to respond to your rapist’s “friend request” on Facebook. Getting to the root of my lifelong battle with worry and fear, it has remained consistent… my sex. 

   Being born a female human was certainly out of my control and how I felt about that seemed to be too. I allowed the world to shape what that particular corresponding gender means and let me tell you those fashions never felt good, joyful or right. The terms I ignorantly let others set for me and my femininity usually ended in me being harassed, sexually assaulted, and/or exploited. A story as old as time because I know I am far from alone.

  Some say words are just words unless you give them power, but I tend to disagree. Words are power, they are energetic, evoked by breath; as could be said for all living things. I have worked hard to clean up my sexist lexicon, but still have a lot of unlearning I continue to look forward to. Being constantly steeped in fear whatever it may be, is an obstacle made of suffering on every level; mental, physical, and spiritual. Being subtly molded by all that before lends to my perspective and thankfully no longer feeds on my mind, body, and spirit. A continual transformal journey of healing. I set my own terms now as I teach the world how to treat me simply by knowing who I am confidently for that is a mighty mutable power that suits me. If any of my words resonate within I implore you to get creative, speak out, empower others, and reach out to somebody who will listen and can help guide you through your own sea of sexist sentiments.  

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