Here Comes The Sun

  As the gods would have it, I find life at times to be profoundly hysterical. That is to say I have gotten to a point where all I can do is laugh. A little daffy at times but I assure you, not yet certifiable. I’ve observed countless coincidences in my time. There are times it happens so frequently I’ve learned to ignore them, so not to appear insane. Recent example is very personal but I can’t help remark.

  I got married to my second boyfriend at the age of twenty-two. I knew I wasn’t ready and didn’t know if I ever wanted to get married ever, but he convinced me by knocking me up. He loved me a lot, but there were lots of conditions. I was young and dumb and thought I was being a responsible adult by marrying him. Well long story short, I walked down the aisle to The Beatles, “Here Comes The Sun” written by my true favorite Beatle, George Harrison. Over the last eight years I’ve heard that song a handful of times, but within the last month I’ve heard it randomly over a dozen times. It all started to happen the day before my now ex-husband got re-married. I was at Raley’s Supermarket as it poured through the ceiling speakers. Pushing my cart down the pasta aisle I immediately got a giant ear to ear grin on my face that made two people passing by smile. My smile was warm and heartfelt. I didn’t even have a fleeting moment of sadness or angst, and it made my smile that much wider. I heard it the next day on the radio in my car, and almost every consecutive day since. There once was a time after my ex and I split two years ago that I couldn’t bare hear the song, it rocked my heart and made me sad. It’s a different heart rocker now, I feel empowered. I realize the song is for me, the words are for me. “Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces. Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been here”
 
 Some folks throughout my life have told me I epitomize sunshine and the world is brighter when I smile. I finally feel it, I finally see it. I talked to my grandma on the phone the other day, something I don’t do very often, mostly cause I hate talking on the phone. In times of uncertainty and with so much change in my life, I told her it’s been rough not having family in town. My grandma moved 600 miles away about a year and a half ago. She reminded me of something she told me twenty-two years ago. “Do you remember visiting me in the hospital when I had my brain tumor? You asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I said I wanted the sun to come out again, I want it to feel sunny again. And you know what? It did.” My grandma has been through a lot; widowed, uterine cancer, benign brain tumor removal, breast cancer, skin cancer. My grandpa passed away when I was a year old. She told me I was her sunshine and she didn’t know what she would have done without me. I got to be her sunshine. No matter how uncertain life gets or how much thrown at us or taken out from underneath us, the sun rises everyday and keeps shining on.  “Here comes the sun, it’s alright.” Be it, brain tumor removal or extrapolated husband, once the growth is removed, life only gets sunnier if you let it. Life is strange when your stranger, so laugh it out.

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